More Cute Pictures

These pictures of Miss Bella wearing Nicolas's beanie really show how much they look like each other. It's a little eerie. Nicolas loves to take pictures with Miss B and as you can tell Miss B looks straight at the camera and is ready for her close up when ever. Thanks Miss Shannon for the cute bows! I will download pictures of her 10 month photos next and then it will be the Halloween pictures. I hope you have a great Halloween. We are going to take Miss Isabella out for her first trick or treat and Nicolas said he would even grace us with his presence for at least the first hour and then he will go off with friends. Bella is going to be a flower although that isn't scary enough for Nicolas so he's changed her outfit to a Venus fly trap. Nicolas is downright scary, but I'm not sure what he is. It just looks scary.

Football Season is over

Nicolas played for the Elmhurst Eagles this year. It was his first year playing tackle football and he worked us until we finally said yes. It took about four years. The Midwest folks don't mes around when it comes to their football and so we entered the "football zone." Nicolas played a guard and was the kicker. He tackled the quarterback more times than anyone and he even had a few interceptions. He was very good at the defense aspect of the game. Isabella was of course his number one cheerleader although she will not ever be a cheerleader, but she was still there screaming for him. Becca, AKA Mary Poppins, made cute shirts for Bella and I to wear to the games. The eagles had a homecoming and the teams go around and toilet paper each others houses and then they leave yard markers so everyone knows who plays for the Eagles. Then the next morning we tailgate and go play hour homecoming game. It's like high school all over again, seriously. They had fun and that's what matters. Nicolas loved that he could tackle other kids and not get in trouble for doing it. He said he was saving his anger up for the games and would take it out on the other players. Hey whatever works! He hasn't had any problems at school since football started! Now that it's over I'm not sure what we will do.

Pumpkin patch

We went shopping for Nicolas and Bella's pumpkins and it was super cute. Nicolas kept pointing out that this was Bella's first Halloween. He wanted to make sure that she got as big a pumpkin as he did. I thought that was nice seeing how he is very competitive. Bella of course didn't get it all but she loved having her brother be there and help her. She loves him so much.

So much!!!!

Nick is having a hard time right now. I don't need to get into the details, but he needs some time to think about where his life and job are going. It is one of the most stressful things to just have to sit back and watch your husband suffer and really not be able to do anything beside listen. I listen to what he is feeling and reassure him that he is doing a great job. He is a greater critic on himself, more so then anyone else could be. He is feeling pressured to comeback sooner and this just makes him want to push back even more. He is a husband who is feeling guilty for traveling so much and not being here for his family. I am reassuring him that I am not going anywhere, nor are his children.
He needs to be okay with that though. He needs to feel comfortable leaving and knowing that we will be okay. This last year and a half as been a very STRESSFULL time for Nick. Not seeing his wife, his ten year old son and his 9 month old daughter has been a stress that Nick was not ready for. He was told he would have heavy traveling for 6 months and then it would slow down. I don't know if Nick would have taken this job if he had been told he would have to travel non-stop for a year and a half.
Kelly Clarkson's song is spot on for me. I wish I could save him! I wish I had been a little more aware of his feelings. I can tell how much this is killing him, but I feel stuck and unable to do anything for him, but just be here for him. I for once don't know the answer, I don't know what to say to him as to what he should do.
I love my husband more than anything and it truly is killing me to see him like this.
Hang in there my Nick, we will get through this.

Kelly Clarkson Save You Lyrics:

I can tell
I can tell how much
you hate thins
And deep down inside
You know it's killin' me
I can call
Wish you well
And try to change this
But nothing I can say
Would change anything
Where were my senses
I left them all behind
Why did I turn away Away

[Chorus]
I wish I could save you
I wish I could say to you
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright

Didn't mean
didn't mean to
leave you stranded
Went away 'cause I
didn't want to face
the truth
Reachin' out
Reach for me empty handed
You don't know if I
care you're trying
to find the proof
There were ties I'd wonder
Could I have eased your pain
Why did I turn away Away

[Chorus]

It's gonna be alright
Save you
I wish I could save you

[Bridge]
We can pretend
nothing's changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there will be
no pain tonight

It's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright

Save you
I wish I could save you
I'm not going no where
I wish I could say to you
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
Save you
I wish I could save you

It's gonna be alright