Changes are to come

"Two roads diverged in the middle of my life, I heard a wise man say, I for the road less traveled by and that's made the difference every night and everyday."
-Larry Norman

Take responsibility for what you have done, yet what if this problem was not self done. This man feels he must be an active member of his family. Yet he is scrutinized for taking a step back, reassessing his mental state, his family relationships with his son and his daughter and to rekindle his 11 year marriage between he and his wife. These two young kids have experienced so much together, have been through so much together and have accomplished so much. They are both still standing and standing together.
The husband asks his wife if she is disappointed in him. The wife looks into the eyes of the love of her life and she says, " you're my biggest inspiration in life. You have an incredible work ethic, an amazing drive to always be better, the desire to get people to want to become a team. You truly empathize with those needing it and you have more compassion at 32 than most people will have in a lifetime. You're an inspiration to me, an inspiration to all of your employees and more importantly your son idolizes you. You're great at HR but your also great at being a husband and a Dad. When you do something you go big or go home. You help others see the leader in themselves that they may had not seen otherwise. You're not done, this is just one more chapter that will be added to the book of Nick Mendibles and right now we are choosing the road less traveled. I wouldn't travel down this road with anyone else. I'm so proud of you Nick!

My Dad has arrived. He survived the flight from Phoenix and his flight was even on time. Nicolas was so excited to see him. We waited at least 10 minutes for him to come through the security area, but Nicolas sat there waiting for him. Bella wasn't quite sure about him at first but she has sweetly grown to adore him and smile for him. Nick has had a lot of time on his hands so......... he put up the Christmas lights before Thanksgiving. This is apparently a cardinal sin in this neighborhood. You don't put up the lights before Turkey Day. Tomorrow we are heading downtown to watch the lighting of the Christmas lights in downtown Chicago.
Pictures will follow!

Veterans Day

Today Nicolas wanted to call everyone that had been in the military and tell them thank you. It was all his idea, without any poking or prodding from me. He sure shocks me at the darnedest moments. He called his Uncle Matt, my Step-brother, and his Great-Grandfather. He was so sweet on the phone and wanted to make sure they both knew how thankful he was for all that they have and are doing. It seems as though we are raising a young man that is very caring, compassionate, and thankful.

Happy Halloween 09

Isabella had her first Halloween this year. We dressed her up as a flower. The outfit turned out to be a good fit because it was a very warm outfit with a warm head piece. Nicolas dressed up as a gauze ghoul this year. The only reason he really wanted to dress up as this was because the eyes lit up and he thought that would scare people. The problem that he didn't account for was in Elmhurst they only allow trick or treating from 3-7 pm. So he really only got one good hour of darkness for his eyes to glow. Bella had a great time handing candy out, although as you can see in the pictures more almost ended up in her mouth then in handed out to anyone. She would put the candy in her mouth, with the wrapper on, and then put it back in the candy bowl. She had fun and everyone that came to the door thought she was adorable; which of course she was.

10 month pictures

Isabella and Nicolas sat together to take pictures for her 10 month photo. She loves to have her picture taken she just wants to stare right at the camera while one is trying to take the picture. I can't believe how big she's gotten and how fast!

More Cute Pictures

These pictures of Miss Bella wearing Nicolas's beanie really show how much they look like each other. It's a little eerie. Nicolas loves to take pictures with Miss B and as you can tell Miss B looks straight at the camera and is ready for her close up when ever. Thanks Miss Shannon for the cute bows! I will download pictures of her 10 month photos next and then it will be the Halloween pictures. I hope you have a great Halloween. We are going to take Miss Isabella out for her first trick or treat and Nicolas said he would even grace us with his presence for at least the first hour and then he will go off with friends. Bella is going to be a flower although that isn't scary enough for Nicolas so he's changed her outfit to a Venus fly trap. Nicolas is downright scary, but I'm not sure what he is. It just looks scary.

Football Season is over

Nicolas played for the Elmhurst Eagles this year. It was his first year playing tackle football and he worked us until we finally said yes. It took about four years. The Midwest folks don't mes around when it comes to their football and so we entered the "football zone." Nicolas played a guard and was the kicker. He tackled the quarterback more times than anyone and he even had a few interceptions. He was very good at the defense aspect of the game. Isabella was of course his number one cheerleader although she will not ever be a cheerleader, but she was still there screaming for him. Becca, AKA Mary Poppins, made cute shirts for Bella and I to wear to the games. The eagles had a homecoming and the teams go around and toilet paper each others houses and then they leave yard markers so everyone knows who plays for the Eagles. Then the next morning we tailgate and go play hour homecoming game. It's like high school all over again, seriously. They had fun and that's what matters. Nicolas loved that he could tackle other kids and not get in trouble for doing it. He said he was saving his anger up for the games and would take it out on the other players. Hey whatever works! He hasn't had any problems at school since football started! Now that it's over I'm not sure what we will do.

Pumpkin patch

We went shopping for Nicolas and Bella's pumpkins and it was super cute. Nicolas kept pointing out that this was Bella's first Halloween. He wanted to make sure that she got as big a pumpkin as he did. I thought that was nice seeing how he is very competitive. Bella of course didn't get it all but she loved having her brother be there and help her. She loves him so much.

So much!!!!

Nick is having a hard time right now. I don't need to get into the details, but he needs some time to think about where his life and job are going. It is one of the most stressful things to just have to sit back and watch your husband suffer and really not be able to do anything beside listen. I listen to what he is feeling and reassure him that he is doing a great job. He is a greater critic on himself, more so then anyone else could be. He is feeling pressured to comeback sooner and this just makes him want to push back even more. He is a husband who is feeling guilty for traveling so much and not being here for his family. I am reassuring him that I am not going anywhere, nor are his children.
He needs to be okay with that though. He needs to feel comfortable leaving and knowing that we will be okay. This last year and a half as been a very STRESSFULL time for Nick. Not seeing his wife, his ten year old son and his 9 month old daughter has been a stress that Nick was not ready for. He was told he would have heavy traveling for 6 months and then it would slow down. I don't know if Nick would have taken this job if he had been told he would have to travel non-stop for a year and a half.
Kelly Clarkson's song is spot on for me. I wish I could save him! I wish I had been a little more aware of his feelings. I can tell how much this is killing him, but I feel stuck and unable to do anything for him, but just be here for him. I for once don't know the answer, I don't know what to say to him as to what he should do.
I love my husband more than anything and it truly is killing me to see him like this.
Hang in there my Nick, we will get through this.

Kelly Clarkson Save You Lyrics:

I can tell
I can tell how much
you hate thins
And deep down inside
You know it's killin' me
I can call
Wish you well
And try to change this
But nothing I can say
Would change anything
Where were my senses
I left them all behind
Why did I turn away Away

[Chorus]
I wish I could save you
I wish I could say to you
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright

Didn't mean
didn't mean to
leave you stranded
Went away 'cause I
didn't want to face
the truth
Reachin' out
Reach for me empty handed
You don't know if I
care you're trying
to find the proof
There were ties I'd wonder
Could I have eased your pain
Why did I turn away Away

[Chorus]

It's gonna be alright
Save you
I wish I could save you

[Bridge]
We can pretend
nothing's changed
Pretend it's all the same
And there will be
no pain tonight

It's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright

Save you
I wish I could save you
I'm not going no where
I wish I could say to you
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
it's gonna be alright
Save you
I wish I could save you

It's gonna be alright

Chicago at it's best

Today we wanted to drive down to Chinatown. What we are used to is San Fran.'s Chinatown. That is not what we found. So I called Dori, a friend who's lived here her whole life, and she said we won't find anything here like San Fran. She did suggest cute neighborhoods. So off we went to the yuppie neighborhood called Lincoln Park. This is the same neighborhood that is next to Lincoln Park zoo. We had a great time and what a beautiful area. Lincoln Park zoo is free, they make their money on concessions, parking and knick-knacks.
We walked around the outdoor farm and Bella got to see rabbits, goats, pigs, and how to milk cows. Nicolas loved her reaction to all of the animals.
We then decided we were hungry so we were off to try to find a trendy restaurant in this very trendy neighborhood. I enjoy taking pictures and so I was taking pictures of so many different architectural homes, blooming flowers and of course Miss Bella and Nicolas. One man stopped me and said one house that I was photographing has been in many movies.
We finally made it to Pasta Palazo. It was a small but very crowded restaurant. Nicolas enjoyed his usual pasta with marinara sauce. Nick ordered the jalapeno gnocchi and I got the tortellini with some fancy sauce. It was all very good, but I couldn't really taste it. My mouth was really hurting, so I ate two bites and asked for a box for the rest.
The whole point of the trip was, we live in Chicago. We need to get out and experience this great place before we are gone. I can't believe that we live in Chicago. I mean really, two kids from Tucson, AZ now living in one of the best cities in the world. This is a great city for architecture , food, wine and anything that has to do with Oprah . What a great place for our family to live but even more, what a great place for Nicolas and Isabella to grow up. Nicolas has lived in many cool cities and I hope from each he will take something different and have memories for years to come.

Wisdom teeth MIA

Thank goodness I have finally gotten the last of my wisdom teeth out. The whole experience was anything but simple but needless to say it's over and hopefully I can have a few months of no more painful happenings.
What I did learn from this experience is I am so glad I did not live in the early 1800's. Good lord they just had a shot of alcohol and pulled the teeth out. Oh my I wouldn't have made it through that.
After I got out of the chair today my entire back was covered in sweat. I thought I would be going to sleep so when they tried for the second time to find a vein, and were unsuccessful, I had a panic attack. I already don't like going to the dentist so when I saw the dentist with a pair of pliers, I lost it. I went in on Wednesday for the first time and they tried over 15 times to find a vein and I decided I would come back again, after letting my arms rest, and see if they could find any. I went back today with warm packs on my arms. They again tried about 8 or 9 times but were still unsuccessful. The one nurse said she'd worked at this office for 18 years and has never had a patient where none of the doctors could find a vein. The good part of this experience was it ended up being cheaper because I didn't go under. So look, there's a positive in every situation I just have to look real hard sometimes.

Letter to God

Dear God,
I was just wondering if you were taking your friend Mother Theresa's quote a little to literal. "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Well by God, I ought to be the friggin strongest person. While I greatly appreciate the things I have been given I have given up many things to get them. I have had a hell of a year and 2009 just seems to keep getting more and more biblical. I am trying my hardest to look at the cup as half full, really. Yet I am tested everyday. Type one diabetes would have been enough in my opinion, but you threw in endometriosis and all 15 of those surgeries. You were kind in giving me my healthy little boy, but even that was a huge climb. I lost a little girl, but 4 years later I was given another. Again though I was almost killed giving birth to her. I was then almost killed by another Doc four months later. I wonder if getting in a car crash and totaling my Mom's car was supposed to have a higher meaning. Yes I was not killed and I didn't seriously hurt or kill anyone else. I needed one weekend, just one, to have no stress!!!!!! What part of that memo did you not receive? I am starting to feel better from that incident and now I get to have my two remaining wisdom teeth taken out. One is very infected.
I wish I could figure out the place you are setting me up to go or the goals you're wanting me to accomplish by always having something to overcome. At this point I'm getting a bit irritated and very jaded.
Please let your dear friend Mother Theresa know that I'm not dead yet but I'm sure not feeling stronger!
Your friend,
Errin

On the move

Isabella is moving all around. She is non-stop pulling herself around the house and getting into everything. Isabella is figuring out that she can open and look into hiding places. She loves the dog. Winston, the dog, is so patient with her. He sits by her and lets her pull his ears, tail and paws. He will nudge her away when he's had enough, but for the most part he loves to be touched. Isabella loves to check the mail and go through all the papers. Our mail comes through a door slot, so it drops onto the floor. This is right at Isabella level. So is so curious and it is amazing how every item in the house is something new, even if she had just touched it. Her mind is flowing daily. Everyday I am thankful to have a healthy and happy little girl as well as a happy, healthy and quite vocal ten year old boy.

08/16/09
Today we for sure didn’t have a schedule. We checked out of the Powder House Lodge, after staying in the cabin. We had so much fun there. We left and went to eat at a local restaurant. They are known for their huge buns, cinnamon that is. We ate and went on our next journey. We wanted to head to Jewel Cave but we wanted to take a different route. So we went up Iron Mountain and realized we took a very round about and out of the way, but we have some great pictures from the top of the mountains of Mt. Rushmore. We saw wild buffalo, fed wild mules, saw piggy back bridges and lots of wild flowers. It was a great out of the way trip. We made our way through Custar to onto Jewel cave and finally arrived, two hours later. Nick went up to buy our tickets and they said the whole day was sold out. So now what……
We decided to go to Wind Cave, so we turned back around and went back the way we just came from and went to Wind Cave. It was packed, later we found out it was free day at the monument. We went on a hour tour of the cave. It was amazing. At this time they have discovered 132 miles of the cave and that is only 10% of the cave. 90% of the cave has been undiscovered. We headed out of Wind Cave around 4:30 and knew we had a very long trip ahead of us. We passed back over into Central time so we lost an hour. We finally made it to Sioux Falls at 11:30 pm. We were exhausted and ready for bed.

08/15/2009
Mt. Rushmore finally
We all were dragging a bit this morning and we weren’t quite used to the fact that we all woke up at 7:30 but it was only 6:30 here in Keystone, SD. Not all of SD is on the Mountain Standard Time zone, but regardless it gave us an hour to get going. We made it to the on site restaurant and we were all very hungry. We ate, after waiting forever because the cook quit and the waiter had to cook and wait on people, and left for Mt. Rushmore. As we made the four mile trek to the site I didn’t know what to expect. It’s a weird feeling to know what you’re going to see, but only know it from pictures and of course National Treasure, which is one of our favorite movies. As we drove up and we could see the formations from the road I was already in awe. We got out and began walking up to the site and we, along with everyone else, began to madly snap pictures. As if the heads were going anywhere. We got off to a rough start with Bella not being too happy so Nick decided to walk back to the car to get her backpack. While waiting Nicolas and I went in the gift shop. While walking around I stumbled upon an author that wrote two books about the history of Mt. Rushmore along with many pictures. I sat there and spoke with him about the history and he answered many of my questions about why it took so long to finish, did the begin building after Pres. Coolidge came and gave his speech, was this the original setting of where the faces were going to go……..
He said in 10 years he’s never had someone ask so many questions and know so much about the site before actually visiting. I then told him that I taught history and I am enthralled by the history of American history. He signed his book for me and then asked me if I would like a case of his books to take and give to a school to be used in a classroom. I told him that would be great and I would love to. SCORE free stuff!!!!
We left the gift shop and made our way to the amphitheater where the boardwalk begins for visitors to walk up to the bottom of the mountain. It is so hard to explain the enormity of Mt. Rushmore but it was amazing! We did the entire walk, despite Nicolas wanting to come back another time because he didn’t want to walk anymore. “We can always come back some other time.” Really Nicolas, Really? Each man on the Mountain was chosen for a distinct reason. Washington was chosen because he helped the US begin it’s journey, Jefferson was chosen because of the Louisiana Purchase which doubled the US in size, Lincoln was chosen because he helped keep the US together during a time that could have gone very differently and last Roosevelt, Teddy, because of the Panama Canal as well as his very keen sense that preservation of our lands was and is so very important. What was very interesting was a few weeks before our arrival protestors from Green Peace snuck up to the top of Mt. Rushmore and staked a banner that read something like, Politicians not Politics with a picture of Obama on the banner. All the people that were involved were caught and are facing 6 months in jail and a 5,000 fine. So at the top of Roosevelt’s head there were surveyors making sure nothing was damaged by the protestors. The park is also looking into increasing security although they are being very hush hush about the whole ordeal. After many pictures and some fun video we made our way back to the car so we could make our way to Crazy Horse. On our way we saw some kids on a cliff that were going to jump into the Sheridan Lake. We stop to watch while I took pictures of the pretty scenery. Nicolas rolled his window down and sat on the sill egging on the jumpers. As we were getting ready to leave I got in the car and didn’t realize Nicolas was not yet in his seat. His hand was in my door jam and I slammed my door shut. Yes his hand was in the door while I shut it. Needless to say there was lots of grunting and I jumped out and ran to the back of the car to get a bag of ice and get in the bag o crap to get some pain relief for him. Nick apparently thought I was just hanging out and getting in the cooler to get a soda. He said, “Errin what are you doing? You just slammed his hand in the door.” Uh yea Nick I know thanks. So after getting him some ice and calming him down we decided to go to the town of Custar and see if we could find an Urgent Care to make sure his hand wasn’t going to fall off. We quickly realized that perhaps the Crazy Horse monument might have a first aid station so we decided to run in there real quick and see if they could look at his hand. They wanted to charge $27.00 for us to “visit” the monument. They were very kind though and let us through and told us to go to the visitor station. So we did and we were told that the closest facility was in Custar and all they could do would be to give us ice. We already had that so off we went to the town of Custar. They did give us a free pass though to return to Crazy Horse for free. SCORE!!!! We made our way into Custar and Nick was having a great time with the fact that I’m usually the one that finds the ER in small towns and that Nicolas is well on his way to follow in my footsteps. We arrived at the ER and Nick wanted to take a picture of us in front of the ER sign. In Nicolas and I went. The nurse and I talked and I let her know that I new it wasn’t broken because he would still be screaming and it would be very swollen. I guess I didn’t need to tell an ER nurse all that but feeling very guilty I did. She agreed with me, but she said she wasn’t a doctor and she would have to admit him to the ER in order to have a Dr. look at this hand. I asked Nicolas what he thought. He shook his head. The nurse asked him to put his left hand up to his right hand so we could see if it was swollen. It was a little swollen but nothing too bad. Nicolas decided that ice cream might cure his pain and he didn’t need to enter the ER. Thank God!!!! I thanked the nurses and off we went to go find some lunch with a good dessert area. We found a jackpot of a restaurant. This place had been written up in the Denver post and was on the travel channels, “Where to eat when in SD.” The paper also said that the restaurants in Custar don’t serve dessert after 6:00 pm because they know they can’t compete with this restaurant. Needless to say the food was good and the pie was fantastic. We left there and made our way back to Crazy Horse. It was so interesting for me to understand the behind the scenes of why it has taken so long to get what they have done actually done. This monument has not accepted any federal funding for this project. It is being done all through private donations. They don’t want to feel like the people don’t want this monument. Amazing!!!! We went to the movie that was very informative and walked around every angle of the monument to take pictures. They began this project in 1948 and they have the head completed. This monument will be the largest monument in the world. Mt. Rushmore could fit just on the hair of Crazy Horse, let alone the rest of his head, horse, or his hand pointing to his land. Needless to say it’s going to be huge. I wonder if they will have this monument completed in my lifetime. In 1998 they had the 50th anniversary. 50 years and they have so little completed because for so long it was just one man working on it and then he got married and had ten children and he then put them to work on it. They have turned down, twice, ten million dollars of federal funding. They do not want this to be a federally funded project. They know it would go much faster had they accepted the money but they also do not want to stand with their hands open all the time. The original sculptor DID NOT want money from the Government nor did the Lakota tribe who commissioned the sculptor in 1939.
We finally left after it started sprinkling and began making our way back to out cabin. It began to pour rain so we were very glad to be done with touring and being warm in the car. I wanted to stop at Sylvan Lake for a quick look and so we made our way along the twisty road. Had I known it was going to be so curvy we wouldn’t have gone. We finally made it and we were told it was going to be $15.00 for us to look at the lake. Well we turned around and didn’t get one picture of Lake Sylvan.
We’ve had a long, fun day and Isabella was a trooper throughout the day. She had one nap that was an hour and a half but other then that it was no more than 30 minutes here and there. Needless to say once we made it back to our cabin she was out within minutes. I rarely have time to write because I’m always with Bells by myself so this is great to have Nick here and Bella asleep. I’m so excited I can blog about the experiences we have had and all the very cool things we have been able to see.

08/14/2009
Today we left Sioux Falls, SD and wanted to make our way to our hotel in Keystone, SD. We didn’t really have an itinerary which was fine by Nick for sure and I loved it as well. I grew up with my Mom having a timeline of when and where we had to be places, not a bad trait by any means, and we always arrived 5 minutes before the ETA. My brother Sean inherited that gene and I, well let’s just say I’m trying my best to get better. So we were off on a 365 mile trip. It ended up taking us all day. We are tourists so we were caught by the very popular tourist traps along highway 90. The first trap that we stopped at was the Antique mall/ old west town. This place had so many historical items for sale. If I had all the money in the world I could have easily walked out of there spending well over $1000.00. I would have bought a wedding ring quilt that was made in 1930 and passed down through a family and then bought by this establishment. There were wedding dresses from the 20’s, cast iron pans, early WW1 items, outfits from the 20’s that I would never wear but it would still be fun to just have. I am a history lover and major.
Our second “trap” was at the 1880 town. It is a little town that has had original homesteads, artifacts and buildings dated back to the battle of Little Bighorn. It was amazing how people out in the middle of nowhere lived. There was a one room house that two sisters lived in while attending high school in SD. It was probably 300 sq. ft. if even that. It was one room with an out house in the back. Nicolas rented an outfit from the Emporium and he got to walk around town dressed as a cowboy with a gun. The also had memorabilia from the movie “Dances with Wolves” as well. It was very interesting to see all that went into making that movie. Seeing this town reinforced the relief I have of knowing I will never have to smell what those people smelled like, how hard they had to work for what little they had and the climate those people endured with little heat and no air conditioning. WOW! Nick and I both agree it would be interesting to go back in time and visit that time but to be able to come back to the present and have hot water to take a shower.
Our last stop was at the famous Wall Drug in Wall, SD. This pharmacy was started by a family in the 30’s. They drew people in to Wall, SD to the Wall Pharmacy by posting signs along the dusty highway 90 that read, “Free ice water.” It was a genius marketing tool and they have been a must stop for tourists making their way across the plains of SD ever since. Nicolas and Bella took an old time photo in costume, we ate at the Wall drug store and walked around the huge pharmacy that the family has now turned it into.
We finally made it to our motel called Push Ridge Lodge two miles outside of Keystone, SD. This lodge was built in 1948 and housed bootlegged alcohol and dynamite. They have since bought more land and added cabins. We were very happy to finally step into our room and Bella was even happier to get to bed. Nicolas wanted to go swimming despite the temperature being in the mid 50’s. After doing that for an hour we ran back to our room because he was freezing. We had cheese and crackers in our room and finally fell asleep getting ready for our big day tomorrow at Mt. Rushmore.

The begining to Mt. Rushmore

We have been making our way through South Dakota on our way to Mt. Rushmore. We drove across the entire state of Wisconsin and then Minnesota and we finally came to a stop in Sioux Falls South Dakota. The landscape was amazing. Wisconsin we had been to so we weren't too surprised by this, although Wisconsin Dells was something we will for sure want to go back to. It is home to the most water parks in the country. Minnesota makes one want to move there and live on the water, although then we thought of the harsh winters that happen there so we decided to not move. We made three stops our first day. The first stop was about two hours into WI so we could all eat and stretch Bella's legs. Nicolas, Nick and I played football in the parking lot while Bells watched while sitting in her Bumpo from the back of the Volvo. We then ate and we were off. Our next stop was at a rest stop about two hours later. Bells and I watched the boys have a pine cone fight. Bella didn't want to miss out so she grabbed a pine cone and ate it. I found three pieces of bark in her mouth, although she didn't seem to mind. We were off to our last rest at a gas station. After loading up on caffeine, changing diapers and getting gas at the Kum and Go we were ready to get to Sioux Falls. We finally arrived around 7:00 and Nicolas was so excited when we let him know our hotel had a water park at the pool. He immediately was in his suit and down to the pool. Bella even found the energy to make her way down for an hour as well. After a 14 hour day we were all ready for bed and finally got everyone to sleep at 10:30 and off to bed I went too. Tomorrow we will make our way to The Powder House Lodge which is 4 miles from Mt. Rushmore.

I've heard from three people that I never blog. So here I am. I always feel like I have to write so much. Good news is my clothes are starting to fit the way I'm sure the manufacturer intended. We are still trying to nail down where we want to go for a mini vacation. I'm going to try to get to the AAA office today so we can organize a trip-tik. Isabella is 7 months old which is so hard for me to believe. Even harder is that on August 6th we will have been here a year. Crazy how time really does fly.